I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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