Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
