Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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