how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
