it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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