the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
