Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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