He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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