I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
