Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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