Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
