glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
