My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
