I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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