Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
