Plan B is the new Plan A
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
