O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
