I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
