The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm both gender and math confused
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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