Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
they're like a gay fantastic four
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize