He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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