She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
