The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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