8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
