Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize