we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
