Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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