I wanna bring you to show and tell
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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