Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
