If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
