physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
