yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
