I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
