She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
