Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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