his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
