I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
