i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
