I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize