K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
