jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
