Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize