Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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