i just had sex bonerless
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My bed smells like the plague
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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