I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
