So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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