Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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