hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
