There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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