:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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