Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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