if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize