Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
