Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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