Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
