I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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