she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
